good news, but I have to park and stop off the road

Yay! I found out that the removed tumors were not cancerous. I still have to have the organ removed that is causing them and my other medical problems.

So, in my earlier blogs, I talked about being tired, short of breath, dizzy, and having the feeling of throwing up during my workouts. It wasn't lack of effort or a purposeful lack of energy. It was more than that and today it all came together as to why. Truthfully, I should not even have worked out to that extent. My body could have gone into shock. My plan is to work out with caution until my surgery and then I will be out for at least two months. This definitely puts an unwanted kink in my weight loss journey.

hope I get some sleep. can't drive this way.

Tomorrow is my day at the physician's office to determine what lies ahead of me medically. I relaxed this afternoon, but as I prepare for my day tomorrow, I feel my nerves rising. This better not keep me up all night! In my previous days, I would use anything that came up as an excuse not to deal with my weight. Now that this can interfere with my journey, I dislike that it will.

My oldest son is out of state while my other two boys are here at home. They are worried and I have to do my best to be strong in order not to worry them further. They mean the world to me and I want to protect them as much as I can. Mark, my husband, will be there with me tomorrow. We are thinking positive and we know that we can deal with this together.

I want to have some say about when I can have the surgery. My family, mom, friends, and trainer do not want me to postpone or delay what needs to get done. They are right and I am lucky to have support from all.

which package do I want?

This coming Monday I find out the results of my testing from last week. There are two options at this point. Malignant or benign tumors. I am hoping for the latter option. Either way, I will need surgery at some point. The wait is stressing me out. Why can't results come in sooner? Tonight's workout was intense and I was only off of my routine for one week. Boy, does that mess you up or what? I am sore all over. It makes me frustrated to know that taking two months off or more after surgery will severely hinder my progress. UGH!!! This journey definitely has it turns. I just need to stay on the road. If I fall off or stop, then my goals will not be achieved.

I guess I have to take one step at a time, one day at a time. Life can be so challenging at times. There are many people who are worse off than me and I can only hope that they have strength to deal what they need to deal with in their life.

how do I handle the turns in the road

I underwent day surgery that stopped me from activity for two days. What will happen when the pathology of those results are in? Right now, I am anemic. OMG, that explains the dizziness, lack of energy, and shortness of breath that did not seem to go away, especially while working out. In about two weeks, I will find out the route I will have to take. The less intrusive route will keep me away from any kind of activity for 6 to 8 weeks. I am frustrated to say the least. I have worked hard and I know that my lifestyle change of getting healthier has worked because of a combination of factors (getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising, decreasing stress, etc). Eliminating one factor affects the scale and the inches. If I am forced to take out the physical component, I am worried that I will gain pounds that I have worked so hard to take off my body and my level of performance, even though I am not an expert, will decrease.

Some people may not think that this bumpy road ahead is a problem and that I should not let it bother me. It is and I do! Since my weight has been an issue and something that I have to keep working on, this bump bothers me. It makes this journey that more intense. It makes me sad that I will be taking several steps backward before I can move forward again. As for medical issues, I know I am doing the right thing. I have to take care of this. I have to know that in the long run I will still "win" my weight loss battle. There is no other option. I just wish that is was going to be smooth sailing from here to my final goal.

scheduling time

I have been working out a great deal this last week, two times a day. It is a daily struggle to see where I can fit the next workout. I had not been successful in previous months because I was trying to fit in workout blocks over an hour long. It wasn't till this week I decided something is better than nothing. So, I have managed to sneak in 30 or 45 minutes and it has helped with getting exercise into my day. The only thing........ I am always hungry.