put on your seat belt

Ok, I sat down in my seat. As we were getting settled in our seats, I distracted my family so that the attention was not on me. I sat back in my chair and had the belt in both hands. They clasped together. Yes.... I did it !!!!!! No seat belt extensions needed on the airplane. What a way to start the trip!

off the road exercusion and into the sky

Well, today I get to get out of the car and into a plane. I am going on a weekend trip to Texas. My day is filled with errands. The fun stuff about the trip is that I will be at the mall shopping for new clothes (I am excited to see what sizes I fit into). Prior to my life changing meal and exercise plan, I was wearing size 28 pants and shirts. I get to have a manicure also. Last time I flew, I needed a seat belt extension. Talk about the humiliation. Some of the airline attendants are not so friendly as they embarrass you about needing one. I am hoping that I do not need one which will avoid any discussion to anyone on the plane about it. Keep your fingers crossed! The most difficult thing about the trip is going is the commitment to eating well and exercising. The family will be taking us to various places non-stop, especially since I will only be there for the weekend. I am sure the birthday party we go to will be fun, but full of drinks and food. The home cooked meals and the other food favorites of mine will be something I have to deal with as I participate in the family festivities.

So off I go! This is really a test for me since I am not taking my support system from home. I have to do this on my own. If I am my worst enemy, I am not going to go well and I will make this harder than it should be. I have to find the strength to have control!

another check point

Well, yesterday was it...weigh in and measurement time. I had no weight loss. I am still at 241, but I did lose about five inches off my body. I have taken time to read some of the blogs I follow and there has been common topics we all share. The one I want to address today is about not seeing the numbers that we want to see when we get on the scale. It would so nice if we could just tell that scale what it should read for that day! When you have done well on your meal plan and you feel you have done what it takes to lose weight, you expect to see good numbers. If good numbers do not happen, how do you feel? Disappointed? Frustrated? Sad? Unsuccessful? I think emotions hit us, especially me. What do or what did I do with that emotion?

The biggest emotion that hits me is failure. I know that might sound strange after all I have accomplished. But that emotion is one that got me here in the first place. When I was hard on myself for things I did not do, I ate, and ate, and ate. That is not what I do now. It is hard to stay focused during this time. We have to!!! I have to write this because it helps me work my way through it and hopefully you also.

Yesterday I had to think of how long it took me to get here. Here it is! I had this pattern of reaching for food for about the last 22 years. Now, I am expecting it to go away instantaneously. How foolish of me? It can go away, I just have to retrain my brain.

I know it was only a two week period, but knowing I did not get what I expected for those two weeks drives me crazy!!!!!!!!! So what is my plan? I have to get up and continue. The meal plan has to be followed and the exercise needs to be there. I have to know that this battle is one I put out there and I have to finish it.

Question - Do you think that we become our worst enemy as we go through our weight loss journeys?

surviving the first leg of the trip

Ok! One week of boot camp is done and I can't believe I made it, especially since I had to give my beauty sleep. Really! I am not a morning person so just getting out of bed and making to every session this week was hard. Talk about hard. OMG. The exercises, the drills, and the pace was intense. It seemed as though each day I discovered muscles I never knew I had. Also, I never knew what you can do outdoors to exercise. Who needs a gym after the trainers creative mind of how to use the environment? Losing weight is getting harder and I have to keep telling myself that I have to do whatever it takes. The sore muscles and aches will be worth it in the end. Please note - since I am still over weight, I can not perform like others in the boot camp who are in better shape than I am. There is not way for me to measure up and it did bother me. But, I did something for my satisfaction. That is, even though I was not the first one done nor the one with the best form, I completed the exercises. No short cuts or quitting. At some point, I think I developed this inner strength that tells me I can't fail. If I do, then every person who negates the way of life I am choosing, wins. Where is your inner strength? How can you develop it so that you continue to pursue what is important? I know you can. Again, it is not easy, but it can happen. For as many times as I was negative or rolled my eyes out of disbelief, I could kick myself.

BTW - Tomorrow is weigh in time. I don't know what the results will be given my new meal plan. All I can hope for is losing inches if I do not lose pounds.