up and ready

Well, the refrigerator and pantry are cleaned. No food was wasted as we donated two bags full of cans to the needy and gave all other refrigerator food to my nieces and nephew who moved into their own apartment. The shopping experience was a learning one. I can't believe there is so much you can learn from labels. Labels were something I never took into consideration. Today, if I thought one food was good, the trainer usually found one that was better. I guess it is going to take practice. I felt like we were shopping with the food police. No, just kidding, it was not that bad. I actually learned a lot about how to look not only at the fat, protein, etc. chart, but the ingredients also. The trainer offered suggestions and ultimately let us decide. I think there was only one thing he took out and said "not now". I know this shopping experience was for the health of my family. So, what was purchased? A lot of organic foods, especially fruits and vegetables. We are exploring with different poultry and meats to see if there really is a difference. While my husband and I were gathering our mixed nuts from the bins, the trainer was out of sight. I peeked around the corner to find him looking through various breads. He really takes his time and looks at everything!!!!!! He really does have a sincere interest and concern regarding our food intake.

When I was putting away the groceries, I made a comment to my husband. I said "I am looking forward to tasting and preparing the new food this week." His reply was "this is the first year that our actions came before our words. We are actually starting the new year with fresh, healthy food without having made the new years resolution first." That hit me. How many times in the past had we made the resolution to eat right, diet, and exercise? We would always go shopping a day or two after the new year. Start a diet with minimal exercise. Both resolutions would come to a halt by Jan. or Feb. At the beginning of this new year we can say "do as we do" not "do as we say." That is a great feeling!

Before the grocery store, I trained and weighed myself. I am so happy to report that I followed my diet since xmas and I reached my goal of being in the 250's. I weighed in at 258. This is the year for change and I actually believe that this is the year where I complete a new year resolution. That is to say that there will not be any more challenges ahead. I am sure there will be and I will have to deal with them as they arise. My final desires and goals are so visible in my head. I know that I am in a better place than I have been in on the eve of a new year.

So to all of you, may you be in a better place this upcoming year! No matter how much change you make, reinforce yourself for all the positive changes you do. Keep your head up and get right back up when you need to. Remind me of the same! It is time we help ourselves and others with life.....something we don't know how long we have. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

P.S. The rice stayed in my pantry. I so look forward to reinforcing myself with it when the time comes.

getting the vehicle clean

Wow! Wow! Wow! The time for more changes was inevitable and today it came with a bang. My trainer put my husband and I on a specific diet a couple of weeks ago. Like I mentioned in my last blog, I gained weight. Well, what did I expect after finding out the results of my diet log! Within the last two weeks I was only on target 37% - what a disaster! How did that happen or should I say what did I do to let that happen? A big part of it was the holiday food that was around the house. So now, it has to go.


What do you get when an expert label reader and fitness trainer opens the doors of your refrigerator and pantry? Well, about one million sayings of "this is out!" I think I get to keep about four things in my refrigerator that are not fruits or vegetables. Is there one food that you treasure? One thing that you have justified as okay? Well, I have one. Surprising it is not candy or chips. My one staple that I enjoy having is white rice and now I have to give it up for awhile. That hurts. It is not like I eat it everyday, but it the one thing I really enjoy. It is the one thing that did probably lead to my weight gain. Here is how the dieter / trainer exchange went. To me, white rice is not that bad. To my trainer, it is not good for me right now. I want it now, he says later. I can't throw it out, he wants me to substitute it with brown rice. I complain about letting it go and he states the nutritional value it lacks. I try to justify how to put it in my diet, he justifies why it shouldn't be in my diet. I am sooo proud of my hubby! He entered the duel and stated how we could work it in right now. The trainer stated how we could work it in later. The pantry door was shut with the rice still on the shelf.


So now that he has left, my husband and I have to actually get rid of the undesirable food. What will be easy for us to get rid of tonight? What will not? Will my rice be there or will it go with the pasta? Only tomorrow will tell. Oh yeah, tomorrow is shopping day, HELP ME, the trainer is coming with us!!!!!!!!!

the holiday drive

First and foremost, I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday. This is the time to celebrate family, health, and friendships and it is nice to be surrounded by those you love. It has been awhile since I have written something due to illness.

The week prior to the holidays was very bad for me. I ended up with a stomach flu that threw my diet and eating habits right out the window. In the course of five days, I was only able to eat 1 -2 times a day. I dropped pounds quickly (not a good thing) because when I started eating again, the pounds came back with a vengeance. Now that the holidays have past, I have gained weight. This is not where I wanted to be. My goal was to be at least five pounds lighter by the end of the year and I am so sorry I put that as my goal. Why? Well, I only have a few more days to try and reach my first big goal and I don't want to fail. So for the next few days, I am going to have to be right on target and I have put that pressure on myself.


Why did I gain weight? First of all, I think I lost the structure I had when I got sick. I may have gained confidence in the past two months, but I obviously did not gain mental strength. So,secondly, I did not put myself back into the same eating regimen once I started feeling better. Thirdly, I was not working out the 7-10 hours a week. Sure, I had opportunities, but I denied them when it came down to actually going. It was like I checked out! My mind was not where I needed it to be. I am embarrassed to admit that I goofed, that I was weak. Does this happen to other people as well? If so, how do you get reconnected? Today I tried, but I was not successful the entire day.

Last night I had a dream. There was tons of familiy with me and we were shopping at a farmer's market. I was skinny and nicely built as I had my fruits and veggies in tow. I was talking to people about food labels and the benefits of organic food (so not like me). When I got home from my shopping experience, there were foods in there that I should not have and I did not know how they got there. I did not put them in there. The saddest thing was I then put them in my cupboard instead of throwing them away. Did someone slip them in while I was talking?

Today I am asking myself today "where did that come from!!!!!?" This is soooo not me. You would think that I would have had a dream that I gained all my weight back because that is what slightly happened. Did I have this dream because I knew I goofed? Because I needed to tell myself I had to get back on track? Well I guess the reality is I have to find the right path again. If I stay the way I am going, I am in big trouble. Sadly, I can not get the vision of how I looked out of my head. Am I setting myself up? I know it is not even possible to look that way for at least another year. I have to figure a way to get back on track.

repaving the way

Starting to diet was a huge choice and sacrifice to begin with for me. Throughout this journey I think about the challenges from day to day. I think the more obese you are, the more issues you have and the harder it is. When you think about what needs to be done or you look at the "whole picture" it is overwhelming. Trust me when I say you need to take it step by step. If baby steps are what you need, then do it, don't try to do it, just get up and do it. For everything you do, be proud of your accomplishments, It is your mind and spirt that you have to face when you look into the mirror and if you are proud of who you see, you can continue. If you are having trouble starting, go to someone you trust. If you can't afford a gym or a trainer at this time, do simple things that you do have control of in your home. Choose healthier foods and move a little more. Take it from me, it has not been easy, it will not be a piece of cake in the furture, it WILL BE A life change. I so want to be part of helping others to a better life if I can. If you need want to ask me questions, want me to listen, or share more, I would gladly do it. We do not have to be alone.

When I started, I was happy that my trainer did not humiliate me. I saw people being measured at the gym who were somewhat over weight. Never have I seen an obese person being measured at the gym. I thought I escaped that. Truth is, it was waiting for me right around the corner. Now is the time where my trainer is revamping my whole program. My husband is on board and is ready to go to the next level also. This means we get measured, our diet is carefully monitored, and we step the exercise. It is a complete shift, but I know it has to be done. I am feeling worried about the changes ahead, just like when I started. I tell myself, it is the process, it is part of the journey, and it is what is going to get me to my end goal. I have to get there with all this work. Nothing else will get me where I want to be.

decsion time

I know it has been a while since my last blog. It is hard to make changes, especially if you are uncertain how you are going to fill. This is just a short blog to say that I have choses to add the morning workout time to my schedule. This is hard for me! It is a struggle, but if it is going to help me progress further, then it is the road I need to take. I have gotten up early three times so far and I can not say yet how I really feel about it. It is something I will continue to do and just try to forget about all the reasons why I said I couldn't do it.

I met with my trainer this weekend. OMG!!!! there are many more changes ahead. I need to put my seatbelt on because it is going to change more.