ups and downs

Well, I am now approaching my fourth week of training and I have had a couple of ups and downs. It seems like mostly downs though. I have logged all my activity and food and I am not moving down the scale as I had hoped. The last two weeks have not been consistent due to me getting sick. It really hindered my performance. It seems that I am really going to have to stick with a schedule in order to see results. My trainings have been at the gym and out on local hills, They are very intensive and many thoughts go through my mind. I feel as though I can't make it or I can't do a certain skill. It is frustrating because the reason is my fat gets in my way. So the trainer helps me through it. I worry a great deal about I stupid I look in the gym. My coordination is not the greatest and I am angry that I let it get this bad. My trainer is out of town for a few days and it is up to me to follow his routine. I hear him telling me to push it, work hard, eat right, etc. But it is not the same. There is no way I put the demands on myself that he puts on me. In actuality, it is those intense work outs that I need. I get a sense of feeling stronger and breathing easier after his hard work out. After my workout, I feel like I should or could have done more. I have been to the gym only seven times in two weeks, no wonder I am not seen results. So tomorrow is Sunday and the start of a new week and hopefully, a more consistent training / workout schedule.

Getting started

Well, considering that I have made every excuse why not to start a serious diet, I decided to try once again. Being over 100 pounds overweight is not a good thing. My husband had been in and out of the hospital this summer and I guess I got scared for him and myself. I had a gym membership and over 100 training sessions pre-paid. So, with the economy the way it is I decided to stop wasting money and start using the things I had purchased. Do you know what the worse thing was when I started? The fact that the trainer could not even have me do weights or other typical exercises because I didn't have the basic skills such as balance. No measurements and no get on the scale to weigh yourself. Even though the skills were basic, it was hard for me. What a reality check! When I went to the gym to train two times the first week it was embarrassing. You have people watching you at a time when you want to start something positive. All I could hope for was that I could continue and somehow get over what others thought about the fat lady with the trainer. I was in severe pain. My heart hurt. I couldn't breathe. My back muscles were so sore. I was wheezing and coughing. Was I going to die? It was the first week? Believe me, the first week was not only difficult physically, but emotionally. You come to a point when you realize you took your body too far. There was no surgical options for me so I was going to have to stick it out and do it the hard way. After coming home and complaining, I guess my family thought I was not going to continue and so did I. But, what happened next was not what I expected. My trainer actually cared! He text me to see how I was doing and how I felt everything went. Since when did a trainer care about how I felt about. I thought his job was just to do the training stuff at the gym. That first text was the start of many. He stayed positive and helped me stay on track. He helped me get back to the gym the next week. So, I guess the first step to weight loss is to get yourself off that comfortable recliner and start some kind of exercise. Nothing fancy. I could have done the exercises that the trainer had me do at the gym at home. I just needed to decide to "get up and get moving."