the path to weight gain - part 1

I can tell you that about six years ago my weight gain steadily increased. I was hiding behind my glasses in denial of what was happening. Talk about being on the road! Well, literally I was. Driving around town with my children on vacations and to and from school started to become dangerous. I was loosing my ability to see and I was in denial. Instead of admitting it as first, I would just tell my family that I wanted them to drive. They new something was wrong because when I did drive, I'd hear moans and groans. Funny how I accumulated so many back seat drivers!


I was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease a while back but it was not on a downhill spiral until 2005. This came at the worst time. I was starting my own business and I found it more difficult to do the job that I spent so much time preparing for in college. My stress level increased tremendously. Some people say, why didn't you just quit? I couldn't. I would have been a failure. So, I made adjustments and hired a full time aide! Let me rephrase that. I had to hire someone to do the things I could no longer do myself(what a horrible feeling). My independence for things started to decrease and I hated the fact that I had to be dependent on others. I was a mom, a career woman, and I had things to do. "LET ME GO!LET ME DO! WHY was this thrown at me? How was I going to cope?" These were just some of the thoughts spinning through my head.


My left eye was so severe that I was finally declared legally blind. Although I still had vision in my right eye, the rate in which it was decreasing was not as severe as the left. What happened..... I could not write legible, my driver's license was revoked, I could not cook for safety reasons, I need a person to walk with me on various terrain, etc. I cried for months trying to figure out "why me?" My mom had everyone praying for me as doctors decided what to do for me. I work with children and adults with all disabilities, why was I finding it so hard to deal with one? Believe me when I say, my disability is not severe compared to those I treat. Why could I not cope? Was it because I lost control of things that I once had control over? Was I feeling sorry for myself? Well, with the stress and emotions of it all I found a way to cope, I ATE!