the pain

Who ever said that this was going to be easy!!!!!!!!!? I can remember back to the first time I worked out and the pain that went through every muscle and bone of my body was intense. There are times when I ask myself "did I really sign up for this?" Exercise is not easy and it is definitely a commitment. You have to push yourself as you engage in activities you have probably not done for awhile. Sometimes it has to be mind over matter and you have to just get past it. That pain you felt is now just soreness. What you have to know is that there will always be some kind of pain or soreness, especially if you have a trainer. I do not think they want to keep you in a comfort zone. No, once you get used to a machine or an exercise, you think, "wow, look at that." But then no sooner, you are being challenged again whether it is more weights, more resistance, or more repetitions.


Today was a good day in regards to weights. I felt stronger and noticed I could handle more. To complete a few laps of sprints, YES SPRINTS, was totally flabbergasting. Never did I think I would be running, much less sprinting. I don't know whether to be excited or fearful. Fearful of the next step. Can I take my body there? Really? At what point am I going to just collapse? I sure hope someone is there to catch me.


Today was not so good in that I am so, so, so very sore. After that workout, a sharp pain was going through my back. Was today worth it? I had to think hard about this. I remembered that this morning, as I sat with my trainer today in the gym, he gave me a 25 pound weight to hold. He said "that is how much you have lost". I could not believe it. I guess I was just overweight and not making the connection of what that really meant. Something sank into my head. How was I carrying that weight plus the weight I still have to lose? How did and is my body coping? I decided not to take an Motrin for the pain. I wanted to tough it out and let it ride its course. I have to realize that this process is going to include pain and soreness. If I want to keep loosing those pounds, I will need to endure what comes with the exercise. Sure, it is easier said than done. But, it is reality!

Reality! Let me tell you what I absolutely dislike. It is painful for me to look into the mirrors. Yes, there are plenty in the gym. I do not like seeing myself lift weights. I don't need to. Well, I learned that the reason is that I don't want to is because I do not want to face reality. Looking in the mirror is painful because I can not hide what I am. It is a honest reflection of what my body looks like because of poor decisions I made. It tells a story about someone who let them
self go. It is strike against my self esteem and self confidence. Do you think one day I will dance in the mirror or just enjoy the reflection I see? I think it may get easier as time progresses, but it is definitely not an overnight thing. Definitely!!!!