Saturday, October 16, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
the next road trip
Well, here it is over one year later and I am walking a half marathon this upcoming weekend. Never in my mind would I have thought that this was possible. It is doable and Sunday is the big day. At first, I was nervous about not making it at all. As I trained, I felt more comfortable and new I would finish. The goal now was to finish within four hours. Tonight, I sit wondering if I am really going to make it. I definitely need to get my mind set and not let nerves get in the way. The one thing that frightens me is the start. Due to my vision difficulties, I do not do well in mass crowds. I would hate to be toppled over right at the beginning. When I am in situations were I am surrounded, I just stop. Hopefully, I can be toward the back and start off behind the pack.
How will things turn out? I will let you know.
How will things turn out? I will let you know.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
THE ONE YEAR MARK - WHERE I WAS AND WHERE I AM NOW
How many of you have wondered what your life is really about when it comes to weight loss or getting healthier? I have looked back at my journey that started exactly 365 days ago and I have learned / accomplished so much.
Really? At the beginning of this journey was I prepared for what lied ahead? Did I really understand the commitment? Did I acknowledge what was affecting me from dealing with my obvious obesity? There are pictures of me smiling and looking as if I am having the time of my life. Honestly, it was not like that. Every time that photo was snapped, my throat swelled. My eyes felt like a pipe full of water ready to explode. I didn't allow that to show. I was miserable inside wondering things such as who was laughing at me as I walked by, who am I to deny that something is wrong, who am I to blame events in my life for my obesity, and who am I to justify that being over weight was okay. If I was to give myself a report card, I would have three big "F's" - FAILURE, FAT, FATIGUED!
On October 2, 2009, I received a call from my trainer regarding my first private training on October 3. He was clear about his expectations and about what I should expect. But one thing struck me that day and it was "I really hope you are ready to take on this new lifestyle." What did that mean? I was only starting and what did he mean by new lifestyle. Wasn't this temporary to get me to lose weight? On the way to the first workout spot there were many hills. I was crying, I was terrified inside, and I was sick! No so much because of the workout, but mostly because I was this lady stuck in a body that was worse that a blown up blimp and realization hit. Everything that holds one back from facing an addiction was no longer suppressed.
Sure, it took a couple of months to get through everything, but I had to. In order to grade myself better, I had to change my work habits to earn three "A's". To earn those grades, I had to internalize what to do to achieve them. No matter how much a person may want to change, they have to really do something about it. I did by working and even to this day keeping the three "A's" as a daily reminder of what I have to do - "ACKNOWLEDGE, ACCEPT, ACTION." I had to develop a mind set that I have to acknowledge my behaviors. I can't change anything that I can not recognize. I had to accept events in my life for what they were and not dwell or get stuck on them so much that they controlled by life. I had to take action. Not just for one day, but everyday. Whether it was action in regards to eating healthier, getting sleep, exercising etc., I had to do get moving and stay moving. Finding the balance between spiritual, emotional, health, leisure, work, and other aspects of my life needed to be and continues to be foremost in my mind.
So using my "Triple A" card daily, wasn't always easy, but some of the most important things I used it for was to go from:
1. barely walking without being out of breath to running at least 15 minutes without being out of breath.
2. not being able to bend down and touch the ground to being able to bending over and touching the ground with flat hands.
3. weighing 305 pounds to 205 pounds.
4. a top size of 28 to top size of 18.
5. a pant size of 26 to a pant size of 16.
6. someone who dwelled on the past to someone who looks forward to the future.
7. someone who sat around and watch TV to someone who is training and will do a half marathon.
8. someone who ate at weird times mostly out of stress or emotions to someone who eats well planned out meals.
9. never thinking about fitness to someone who participates daily in it.
10. someone who felt like a failure and was continually afraid of it to someone who dreams and desires success.
11. someone who was pessimistic about what I was able to do to someone who is optimistic about what is to come and confident in completing new tasks.
12. someone who let her visual impairment limit her to someone who uses her disability to her move forward.
13. someone who was not respected to someone who has given hope to others and inspired them to get moving.
14. someone with no energy to someone with more stamina.
15. someone who spent over $500 a month on junk food to some who doesn't crave that food.
16. someone who verbally supported others to start to someone who invested money to get someone to start.
17. someone who thought of losing weight as a temporary fix to learning that this is now a "lifestyle".
Support is important and I have it! I have so many people to thank for accompanying me on this journey. The people in the car has ranged from being alone to having six or more in it at the same time. God for giving me the strength and faith. My husband, Mark, for his companionship and constant drive not to give up. When I am weak, he is strong. When I am lagging, he is pushing me. I am so glad he is with me in this journey and it will lead to many more years together (this is our 25th anniversary year and I look forward to many more). My sons, Kyle, Matthew, and Martin, for supporting our food choices, joining us out there in exercises, complimenting us, and helping us perfecting our form when exercising. There is nothing better that your children telling you that they are proud you. My dear friend, Elise, who is now part of our journey. Her unconditional love and support to me is priceless. My mom and sister for their words of encouragement to continue. My cousin, despite her willingness to push me into marathons, for her heartfelt talks about this journey. My family, friends, and followers who have provided words of motivation. My trainer, Ernie, for his insight to see something in me since the start that I never saw in myself. His guidance has truly been motivational and successful. He takes his job seriously and "walks the walk" to lead the way. He has taught me so much about health and fitness that will forever change my life.
Here is my one year journey anniversary wish - that one more person takes at least a year to devote time to a new lifestyle and in turn, helps others get started. Your journey will be absolutely the most frustrating, tiring, complicated, confusing, consuming ride; yet, rewarding, successful, achieving journey of your life.
Really? At the beginning of this journey was I prepared for what lied ahead? Did I really understand the commitment? Did I acknowledge what was affecting me from dealing with my obvious obesity? There are pictures of me smiling and looking as if I am having the time of my life. Honestly, it was not like that. Every time that photo was snapped, my throat swelled. My eyes felt like a pipe full of water ready to explode. I didn't allow that to show. I was miserable inside wondering things such as who was laughing at me as I walked by, who am I to deny that something is wrong, who am I to blame events in my life for my obesity, and who am I to justify that being over weight was okay. If I was to give myself a report card, I would have three big "F's" - FAILURE, FAT, FATIGUED!
On October 2, 2009, I received a call from my trainer regarding my first private training on October 3. He was clear about his expectations and about what I should expect. But one thing struck me that day and it was "I really hope you are ready to take on this new lifestyle." What did that mean? I was only starting and what did he mean by new lifestyle. Wasn't this temporary to get me to lose weight? On the way to the first workout spot there were many hills. I was crying, I was terrified inside, and I was sick! No so much because of the workout, but mostly because I was this lady stuck in a body that was worse that a blown up blimp and realization hit. Everything that holds one back from facing an addiction was no longer suppressed.
Sure, it took a couple of months to get through everything, but I had to. In order to grade myself better, I had to change my work habits to earn three "A's". To earn those grades, I had to internalize what to do to achieve them. No matter how much a person may want to change, they have to really do something about it. I did by working and even to this day keeping the three "A's" as a daily reminder of what I have to do - "ACKNOWLEDGE, ACCEPT, ACTION." I had to develop a mind set that I have to acknowledge my behaviors. I can't change anything that I can not recognize. I had to accept events in my life for what they were and not dwell or get stuck on them so much that they controlled by life. I had to take action. Not just for one day, but everyday. Whether it was action in regards to eating healthier, getting sleep, exercising etc., I had to do get moving and stay moving. Finding the balance between spiritual, emotional, health, leisure, work, and other aspects of my life needed to be and continues to be foremost in my mind.
So using my "Triple A" card daily, wasn't always easy, but some of the most important things I used it for was to go from:
1. barely walking without being out of breath to running at least 15 minutes without being out of breath.
2. not being able to bend down and touch the ground to being able to bending over and touching the ground with flat hands.
3. weighing 305 pounds to 205 pounds.
4. a top size of 28 to top size of 18.
5. a pant size of 26 to a pant size of 16.
6. someone who dwelled on the past to someone who looks forward to the future.
7. someone who sat around and watch TV to someone who is training and will do a half marathon.
8. someone who ate at weird times mostly out of stress or emotions to someone who eats well planned out meals.
9. never thinking about fitness to someone who participates daily in it.
10. someone who felt like a failure and was continually afraid of it to someone who dreams and desires success.
11. someone who was pessimistic about what I was able to do to someone who is optimistic about what is to come and confident in completing new tasks.
12. someone who let her visual impairment limit her to someone who uses her disability to her move forward.
13. someone who was not respected to someone who has given hope to others and inspired them to get moving.
14. someone with no energy to someone with more stamina.
15. someone who spent over $500 a month on junk food to some who doesn't crave that food.
16. someone who verbally supported others to start to someone who invested money to get someone to start.
17. someone who thought of losing weight as a temporary fix to learning that this is now a "lifestyle".
Support is important and I have it! I have so many people to thank for accompanying me on this journey. The people in the car has ranged from being alone to having six or more in it at the same time. God for giving me the strength and faith. My husband, Mark, for his companionship and constant drive not to give up. When I am weak, he is strong. When I am lagging, he is pushing me. I am so glad he is with me in this journey and it will lead to many more years together (this is our 25th anniversary year and I look forward to many more). My sons, Kyle, Matthew, and Martin, for supporting our food choices, joining us out there in exercises, complimenting us, and helping us perfecting our form when exercising. There is nothing better that your children telling you that they are proud you. My dear friend, Elise, who is now part of our journey. Her unconditional love and support to me is priceless. My mom and sister for their words of encouragement to continue. My cousin, despite her willingness to push me into marathons, for her heartfelt talks about this journey. My family, friends, and followers who have provided words of motivation. My trainer, Ernie, for his insight to see something in me since the start that I never saw in myself. His guidance has truly been motivational and successful. He takes his job seriously and "walks the walk" to lead the way. He has taught me so much about health and fitness that will forever change my life.
Here is my one year journey anniversary wish - that one more person takes at least a year to devote time to a new lifestyle and in turn, helps others get started. Your journey will be absolutely the most frustrating, tiring, complicated, confusing, consuming ride; yet, rewarding, successful, achieving journey of your life.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
looking out the window during this journey
Okay, has reality really checked in with me or what? My birthday has passed and I realize that I am getting older. I feel much better than I did before, but I am getting older and I can not go back and re-live the last twenty years. I need to move forward. As I have lost weight and I am more aware of my body and what it looks like, my mind is full of thoughts about others I see who are over weight. I get mad knowing that it took me so long to make a decision. I get upset about the wasted years of my life of not being able to do something. Now that I am better, not perfect, but better off, I so what the same for others. I want to know what it is going to take for others to get started. Can I really help someone get started? Most importantly, can I help someone start and make a difference in their life over a time. I am concerned about others and if I can somehow share what I know with others than I will be able to come circle with my weight loss journey.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
100 marker
I was running around the house, jumping up and down, crying and cheering. Got the picture? As of today, I am 100 pounds lighter. What a journey!!!!!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
first long destinaton mark is almost here!!!
My last weigh was last Friday. I am two pounds shy of my 100 pounds lost. This has been a long journey so far and it is not over yet. I have waited for this to come and I anticipate that I will reach it within the next week. I have just added fuel to my journey.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
pushing it and wanting it
The exercising is still on!!! You would think that after eleven months of better fitness things could slow down. Nope! They have not. In fact, I have to train and work out harder to loose the weight. The pounds do not come off as they did before and it seems as though every little thing I forget to do or do not do as well as I should, affects my progress. I have to keep reminding myself of my goals. I read a quote that fits what I am going to have to do as I complete this journey. As things get harder I have to know that "desire is the starting point for all achievement, not a hope, not wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything," Napoleon Hill.
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