THE ONE YEAR MARK - WHERE I WAS AND WHERE I AM NOW

How many of you have wondered what your life is really about when it comes to weight loss or getting healthier? I have looked back at my journey that started exactly 365 days ago and I have learned / accomplished so much.

Really? At the beginning of this journey was I prepared for what lied ahead? Did I really understand the commitment? Did I acknowledge what was affecting me from dealing with my obvious obesity? There are pictures of me smiling and looking as if I am having the time of my life. Honestly, it was not like that. Every time that photo was snapped, my throat swelled. My eyes felt like a pipe full of water ready to explode. I didn't allow that to show. I was miserable inside wondering things such as who was laughing at me as I walked by, who am I to deny that something is wrong, who am I to blame events in my life for my obesity, and who am I to justify that being over weight was okay. If I was to give myself a report card, I would have three big "F's" - FAILURE, FAT, FATIGUED!

On October 2, 2009, I received a call from my trainer regarding my first private training on October 3. He was clear about his expectations and about what I should expect. But one thing struck me that day and it was "I really hope you are ready to take on this new lifestyle." What did that mean? I was only starting and what did he mean by new lifestyle. Wasn't this temporary to get me to lose weight? On the way to the first workout spot there were many hills. I was crying, I was terrified inside, and I was sick! No so much because of the workout, but mostly because I was this lady stuck in a body that was worse that a blown up blimp and realization hit. Everything that holds one back from facing an addiction was no longer suppressed.


Sure, it took a couple of months to get through everything, but I had to. In order to grade myself better, I had to change my work habits to earn three "A's". To earn those grades, I had to internalize what to do to achieve them. No matter how much a person may want to change, they have to really do something about it. I did by working and even to this day keeping the three "A's" as a daily reminder of what I have to do - "ACKNOWLEDGE, ACCEPT, ACTION." I had to develop a mind set that I have to acknowledge my behaviors. I can't change anything that I can not recognize. I had to accept events in my life for what they were and not dwell or get stuck on them so much that they controlled by life. I had to take action. Not just for one day, but everyday. Whether it was action in regards to eating healthier, getting sleep, exercising etc., I had to do get moving and stay moving. Finding the balance between spiritual, emotional, health, leisure, work, and other aspects of my life needed to be and continues to be foremost in my mind.

So using my "Triple A" card daily, wasn't always easy, but some of the most important things I used it for was to go from:

1. barely walking without being out of breath to running at least 15 minutes without being out of breath.
2. not being able to bend down and touch the ground to being able to bending over and touching the ground with flat hands.
3. weighing 305 pounds to 205 pounds.
4. a top size of 28 to top size of 18.
5. a pant size of 26 to a pant size of 16.
6. someone who dwelled on the past to someone who looks forward to the future.
7. someone who sat around and watch TV to someone who is training and will do a half marathon.
8. someone who ate at weird times mostly out of stress or emotions to someone who eats well planned out meals.
9. never thinking about fitness to someone who participates daily in it.
10. someone who felt like a failure and was continually afraid of it to someone who dreams and desires success.
11. someone who was pessimistic about what I was able to do to someone who is optimistic about what is to come and confident in completing new tasks.
12. someone who let her visual impairment limit her to someone who uses her disability to her move forward.
13. someone who was not respected to someone who has given hope to others and inspired them to get moving.
14. someone with no energy to someone with more stamina.
15. someone who spent over $500 a month on junk food to some who doesn't crave that food.
16. someone who verbally supported others to start to someone who invested money to get someone to start.
17. someone who thought of losing weight as a temporary fix to learning that this is now a "lifestyle".

Support is important and I have it! I have so many people to thank for accompanying me on this journey. The people in the car has ranged from being alone to having six or more in it at the same time. God for giving me the strength and faith. My husband, Mark, for his companionship and constant drive not to give up. When I am weak, he is strong. When I am lagging, he is pushing me. I am so glad he is with me in this journey and it will lead to many more years together (this is our 25th anniversary year and I look forward to many more). My sons, Kyle, Matthew, and Martin, for supporting our food choices, joining us out there in exercises, complimenting us, and helping us perfecting our form when exercising. There is nothing better that your children telling you that they are proud you. My dear friend, Elise, who is now part of our journey. Her unconditional love and support to me is priceless. My mom and sister for their words of encouragement to continue. My cousin, despite her willingness to push me into marathons, for her heartfelt talks about this journey. My family, friends, and followers who have provided words of motivation. My trainer, Ernie, for his insight to see something in me since the start that I never saw in myself. His guidance has truly been motivational and successful. He takes his job seriously and "walks the walk" to lead the way. He has taught me so much about health and fitness that will forever change my life.

Here is my one year journey anniversary wish - that one more person takes at least a year to devote time to a new lifestyle and in turn, helps others get started. Your journey will be absolutely the most frustrating, tiring, complicated, confusing, consuming ride; yet, rewarding, successful, achieving journey of your life.