no dui's while you are on the road

Well it has been a week since my last post and I have one more until I weigh in. This week has been very stressful. I realized that when I was stressed, I usually went for food. But this week was different. The stress was so intense that I felt the NEED for an immediate release. Food was not even a consideration, but alcohol was. Sadly enough, I craved drinking. I so desired to have it in my system to help me relax. In the course of a year, I would drink about 4-5 times and for sure on New Year's Eve. When I did, I rarely put myself in a drunken state that left me sick. I would get myself in a place in which my body relaxed. I NEEDED to relax. I felt like I was a time bomb waiting to explode. There did not seem to be another way of dealing with the stress level. I cried and came to realized that I was still stressed but I had a red nose and swollen eyes. What was I going to do? I took deep breaths and just laid on the couch until it was time to go to bed. I did not have an ounce of alcohol or food. I knew if I submitted to the desire, I was doomed. Being under the influence would only have diminished the stress temporarily. I would still have to face the issues that were the underlying cause of the stress. How many step backwards would I have taken? How wrong of me to even consider it? :-(

I know we all have our moments. I feel ashamed for sharing this moment, but I have to tell you this new life style is difficult at times. Difficult does not mean stopping and giving up on yourself. Difficult does not mean you need to fail. It just means there are road blocks that are sometimes not so easy to pass by.