ups and downs

Well, I am now approaching my fourth week of training and I have had a couple of ups and downs. It seems like mostly downs though. I have logged all my activity and food and I am not moving down the scale as I had hoped. The last two weeks have not been consistent due to me getting sick. It really hindered my performance. It seems that I am really going to have to stick with a schedule in order to see results. My trainings have been at the gym and out on local hills, They are very intensive and many thoughts go through my mind. I feel as though I can't make it or I can't do a certain skill. It is frustrating because the reason is my fat gets in my way. So the trainer helps me through it. I worry a great deal about I stupid I look in the gym. My coordination is not the greatest and I am angry that I let it get this bad. My trainer is out of town for a few days and it is up to me to follow his routine. I hear him telling me to push it, work hard, eat right, etc. But it is not the same. There is no way I put the demands on myself that he puts on me. In actuality, it is those intense work outs that I need. I get a sense of feeling stronger and breathing easier after his hard work out. After my workout, I feel like I should or could have done more. I have been to the gym only seven times in two weeks, no wonder I am not seen results. So tomorrow is Sunday and the start of a new week and hopefully, a more consistent training / workout schedule.